to the punkass peep

i dunno what you're doing stay away from my girl if i ever saw you i swear i'll kill you

just you wait asshole peep

A new year and a NEW MOON......

yesterday ... the day 31/12/2009 and today 1/1/2010 as i look up at the in the night and midnight

the moon was so brightly so beautifully but when i look at it i felt something strange

it was a strange feeling that i felt :( a bad feeling which i dunno what it was ....

fear.... disappointed at something... or was it something else that bothers me ...

i dunno at all ....

darling was so worry at me i wish i won't had this feeling at all ...

so many time's i wasted trying to know what wrong with me

darling was putting so much effort ... trying to help me with this T_T

everything that i spent at yesterday party was wasted i miss the count down every thing in it the food's.... "damn myself for acting like this" haiz ....

after the party i got home still trying to figure it out but i still can't

i call my darling have a little chat but yet something was still not right with it

within me i was having so much difficulty of sleeping and spread of tears was trying to come out ...

but ...

i can't let out not because i want to its because i dunno how to ...

would be the problem to solve by letting tears flow through my cheeks .... who knows ???

minutes after minutes i pass out...

i was having so much nightmare which i can't tell what it is...

and now i finally know what was i feeling .....

it was fear... after hours and hours trying to figure it ... it was fear that what my heart felt...

why i'm scared ... its because a new year has come and in deep future on i'm afraid that i might not able to treasure her heart... my beautiful lady...my darling that i most love...

i dun want to lose her again i wanted to spent the rest of my life with her

and if she went to overseas in the future i'm afraid that i wasn't able to have her ... i don't want to let go of this feeling that i share with darling ... whether it cause many things to suffer or it cause my life i want to be with you forever not as friends but as in what we felt among each other ....

another sadness in my feelings ..... a matter that controls mind

GOD damn IT i hate to be freakishly emo and i din't want to feel that way

haiz so much hatred in me ... i wonder why am i such an idiot ...

i'm turning back to the feeling of anxious d and i don't want it that way ... feels like i'm so greedy .... i wanna makes things right for now change myself not trying to be like this ...

i hoped darling understand what i'm feeling now and hoped that she's is not dissapoint or frustrated at me .... and also i hope she can help me with this ... problem ..

The end ~ of 2009...a brand new year for 2010

2009 is over by a day d ....

yesterday wake up brush teeth ....==

and i after that i waited for the party to come ^^

i can't hardly wait to see my beautiful and lovely darling....

i miss her so much...

so i play COD : modern warfare 2 till my friend (keng long) come fetch me there ... this game is so freaking nice the graphics is super crystal clear human's are so real so love this game

few hours pass by i pack up and get ready for my friend and few seconds later he arrive :D

his mom took us to eat "Bah Kut Teh" .... and than we eat and I chat with friends (keng long and eugene) include my friends mom :D

After we eat my friend mom take us to our friends (jong bor) house for the party but we were 5 hours early == and i was suggesting to go to aeon bbt to watch movie XD cause i got a free ticket for any movie :D some of my friends suggested not to go while some wanted to go (kar chun , chong yi) .... i so pity keng long have to carry his guitar from jong bor house to aeon bbt just to put new string haha because jong bor tune it until it guitar string break haha XD and eugene was following to because he needed a stuff for his contact lens ...

so we left jong bor house and start walking to jusco took some time to get there...

on the way we say one of our friends father (nigel) he was asking us where we were going so we told him by pointing out the big parking lot mall (aeon bbt) which is a few metres away after many minutes of distance we have walk to reach aeon bbt ...

when nigel's father left eugene shouted at him "fetch us larh !!! " and than i came laughing and nigel's father turn back and look i act like nothing happen and hustle my way to the mall ..

finally seconds after minutes after minutes....

we have arrive at the mall haha so sweaty took us long enough to reach there XD

there wasn't much to see at more what the cinema was showing now ...

so we decided to watch sherlock holmes this movie was so funny and got lots about science fiction he is so good at solving things...

but too bad all the audience that are watching with me don't understand what the movie was saying....

so... less laugh from the audience only some people understand XD haha

kar chun and chong yi which were watching with me thought i gone insane laugh for no reason but actually is because of the movie XD

after watching we went back to jong bor house some people have arrive but 2 of them left for their church (gabriel , samson)

haix.... pity them

the party was going to start i was so impatient awaiting to start the fun and also see my darling ^^ when she arrives she was so beautiful as always XD catching my attraction XD

when the party started the excitement also started XD one of our friends mom (andy) is so funny she make so much funny jokes haha XD laugh until stomachache haha XD

and than my when for a walk with me darling hehe ^^ i didn't get what i wanna say cause my idiotic head keep making me to forget ==

oh... how i wish i turn back the time and tell how much i love my darling and she was so beautiful on that day..

and i would like to thanks my darling for solving my problems which i have gone through it for days and weeks d.... "baby if you got read this i wanna thank you for helping me solve my problem ... your the best darling ever i ♥ you so much ^^ "

when my darling play jong bor's sister piano she was so passionate when playing it :D and every song she plays touch my heart XP .... darling is so lovely ^^

so hours and hours pass by

which our days almost come's to and end and a count down also started XD

HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!!

but i miss some of the things due to some of my problems :'(

or maybe i thing i miss out a lot of it ....

days have come to and end and we all left when the party is over was a nice party i can say ^^

3 days has past i miss you a lot since you when to singapore

but today night you be coming back i can't wait to talk to you

i miss you so much i been thinking of you all day

but disappointment is running in my head i wonder...

wonder that could i have hope to apply into science stream

god i hope i can apply to that ...

Regret~~

haizzzz PMR result come out le get not good result
haiz 1a 2b 3c 1d so sad T.T ...

haiz i cannot get new hp le i'm stuck with this stupid retarded motorola razx v3xx

dunno can apply to science stream i hope can apply until

GOD PLEASE help me i dun wanna go art

i regret everything in my studies for not putting effort and more time on it

GOD IF you give me a chance to apply science stream and i swear to you that i will put efforts on my studies and get lots of A in all my subjects ... Please god help me ....

~~and i wanna wish a congratulations to my friends that get A1 and congratz to dar dar although her chinese get b but she can have her new hp d Congratulation darling ^^~~

a death note at 24 / 12 / 2009

aRGH PMR paper result coming d argh

Nice date for us to take == 24-12-2009

brain gonna pop off if i see my result haix

of course i won't be satisfied about it de nvm larh ...

next year must put effort on studies d

study until i improve a lot for one reason ....

secret which i cannot tell out :P

only my lovely darling knows haha :D

hope i go science if not i go account

and i think add maths is gonna be so fun to learn HEHE~HEHE

Uh LALA ~~ ALL the BEST TO MY SINS of results ~ A MI TA BHA~

oh ya and hope darling get good result also ^^

~~lifeless love ~~

What most probably we can't live without

more Money ... food ... clothes or something else than that ??

to me is nothing much from this kind of people

not money , not food

but

the love from you

oh darling you are so important to me

oh how much i can't live without you...

more than everything

for every air i breathe...

is what i felt in you

you meant so much to me

how far the distance from us that make us apart ... i feel you right by my side

every hour ...seconds ....

hearts are never meant to race...

hearts are never meant to haste for what we share now is so unbelievable

feels right ...feels good to stand by your side and hold you

and...

whisper through your hair to your ear and tell you ...

i love you

as i crawl to you when i'm weak slowly by slowly...

i'll be able to walk again

and be strong enough to jump when my love is close to you

and i'll be able to fly with you ... when we're together...

sharing with what we use to share...

love thats what we call...

no matter how we been through love will never carry us away...apart...

will always sore at the sky and touch the sky ...

together

i will never say goodbye for what we share now is what i will maintain it hold it....

till my last breathe...

till my soul is totally vanish ...

as always...

you'll be in my heart

for eternity

as i say once again...

i love you...

with every heart...

every soul...

in me

ALvin ho

Christmas~~

Christmas is coming ohh how i always wanted a gift from santa ^^
i hoped i get a new phone as my Christmas gift
my hp spoil d can't chat with my darling T_T
sometimes chat at msn can't think of something to talk with darling T_T
.... what i want for chirstmas was not actually to have a phone
is to be with darling .... and my birthday gift for her will be my heart from me

bored days , missing you and hearing songs

Holiday are so boring but Christmas is coming soon ^^

Days pass by i miss you more, bits my bits , seconds turns minutes ...

every songs i hear i'm thinking of you...

this song by

Low Shoulder - Through The Trees . . . . is so nice to hear ^^ makes me thing of you

this song is one of the soundtrack from Jennifers body

here is the link if you wanna here

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dC6se7MdOsw&feature=related

and the lyrics is down hear :P

All alone in an empty room
Nothing left but the memories of when I had my best frIend
I don't know how we ended up here
I don't know but it's never been so clear
We made a mistake, dear.
And I see the broken glass in front of me
I see your shadow hangIng over me
and your face, I can see...

Through the trees
I wIll find you;
I wIll heal the ruins left inside you
cuz I'm stIll here breathing now...
I'm still here breathing now...
I'm still here breathIng now...
untIl I'm set free.
Go quiet through the trees

I remember how we used to talk
about the places we would go when we were off
and all that we were gonna find.
And I remember our seeds grow
and how you cried when you saw
the first leaves show.
The love was pouring from your eyes.

So can you see
the branches hanging over me?
Can you see
the love you left inside of me?
in my face
can you see?

Through the trees
I will find you;
I will heal the ruins left inside you.
Cuz I'm still here breathing now
I'm still here breathing now...
I'm still here breathing now...
until I'm set free.
Go quiet through the trees.

Cuz you're not coming back
And you're not coming back
No-oo.. No-oo.. No
You're not coming back...
You're not coming back...

Take my breath as your own
Take my eyes to guide you home

Cuz I'm still here breathing now...
I'ms till here breathing now...
I'm still here breathing now...
And I'm still here...

Cuz I'm still here breathing now...
I'm still here breathing now...
I'm still here breathing now...
And I'm still here..

Cuz I'm still here breathing now...
I'm still here breathing now...
I'm still here breathing now...
And I'm still here..

But you're not coming back.
And you're not coming back.
Cuz you're not coming back
until I'm set free
Go quiet through the trees.

~Alvin Ho~