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Thursday, April 8, 2010

sense of life becoming to a nothing ....a lost of everything

minutes...days... and months pass by .....


my life was so good spending my time with her
things when so well until than everything started to change it was different ...so so different

what happen to the laughter we use to have ....
what happen to the joy we use to have ....
the comfortableness that we use to have

everything turn out so wrong i admit that i done so much wrong i try to change but yet there
you weren't like last time you change ...
alot i try to make you feel better when your sad i tried to do everything for this relationship ........
i'm trying so hard so so hard .... but i can't do it .... you weren't supporting all this is ern ern ern .... your not taking this seriously ..... you said you don't want to take this seriously because you don't wanna get heart broken than what about me i'm putting everything on to it ... you said you want to focus on your study and you have no time for us ...FOR US .... that make me so disappointed and damn sad .... i focus on my study to but yet i never put a side of this relationship because its important to me .....
being with you loving you...is my life
the reason i study is because i do it for you

than all at a sudden you make choices all those choice also make me super sad .....
the time i said that i want to find a day to solve this make this relationship back the way it is .... it was on tuesday at my house turns you said your not going to school and you can't go ... i said okay ...you look so happy when we cancel it ... but i wasn't cause i know its gonna happen again if this is not solve .... when you said whether its uncomfortable being with you anot i say no i never felt that way and there is no comfortable to me unless we have a good relation .... look at us now i feel like a hopeless person .... when i was so sad and i was scared .... scared that were apart ... you just say oo or ern ... are you serious about this ... are you taking this seriously ..... omg la T.T .... everything change you also change not quite change or anything ... you just change .... did those 3 words i told you everyday really get bored to you ........ an ern ....when the time i really need .... where were you ......... sometimes when your there you just plain cool ... i'm feeling so sad heart broken upset disappointed ...

when the month of april comes i was so excited of your birthday i was hoping to give you something turns out it didn't cause of my parents ......... you say its okay ... than i say okay ...on your birthday the time i put every thing away all the pass .... you was so happy to see you ahppy and excited on your birthday the time you were also totally different but better than the other time ...... last few days on tuesday all at a sudden everything go like hell again ... you suddenly don't feel like talking to me than after that we some how quarrel but everything when back normal again yet than another time and few hours later you told me not to disturb so i followed your orders ......than few minutes or an hour you came back turning and asking me what happen but do you realise ..... what actually happen ...... than you type that i won't understand no matter how.... not making me understanding but you just told me its nothing and others ..... than when its all over ......last monday was the same as tuesday just a little but you was willing to admit your wrong thats good ... on thursday which was yesterday your exam ...and for some how i've been ignored by everyone i didn't even notice that you were ignoring me to i stand there so long looking at you doing your work you didn't even say anything when you saw .... at the bus stop i talk to you but turns out you lend your ears to your friend .... i'm so disappointed you know that but yet when you say sorry i still willing to forgive you and some of your friend say that guys is always wrong is it that totally a right theory yes but not always cause guys are also willing to put so much effort to their relationship although they make mistakes .... i give up on that and admitted no matter how guys is always wrong and never will be right as always and they will be wrong no matter how .....even they try to do something right ...
before your exam....... i wish you good luck but you say my wishing is not good or other than that and you blame saying that i panic you and make you stress .......i knew that my wishing is not enough for you ........... i was praying and hoping that you get distinction for your piano ..... you keep like omg omg ......when i talk to you .... your not even hearing anything i try to speak so damn loudly still nothing .. you were busy after your busy you when talking to your friends what about me when i was leaving the class only you call me .............. after that you came back after the examination you panic too much until you say you play lots of mistakes i told you so many times don't panic calm down and deep breath turns out you just like take it as a oo okay ..... when you were so sad i try to cheer you up i try my best your sadness makes me feel the same way too you know your heart broken what about it le .......i tried all my best holding out everything just to make you feel better ....... you say broken heart cannot be heal .......i say they can be heal...... you give me another excuse what are you trying to do .... i was going to cry ....... you know your excuse was you lost it d cannot be heal ... do you wanna compare anot majority of other couples say there is a way to heal a broken heart why are doing this .............i told you to have believe and confidence when next you told me .... no hope at all d ......you break my heart damn badly you know do you wanna compare my heart hurts for than yours or breaks more easily than yours .... please la i'm begging you this isn't like you at all......... go back to the old you ...... haiz i'm hopeless

do you still care for me ...
are you not serious or serious to this relationship ....
i don't know what your thinking or hiding ..... but i hope its nothing bad or totally
i don't know anything no more ....
i'm seriously hopeless
i don't even have confidence no more ....
do you still love me ....
as always ...
i dunno i'm lost
i lost the things you wanted me to be not a coward or emo guy but a better person doing
i lost it

i really don't know how le i'm so lost and scared now no one with and i'm alone

some how i want you and i really need you
and s shoulder to borrow to let this
i really feeling like crying but i dun know how to cry
wish i could

all i want is you to be your usual self
this is isn't like you

i'm feeling super heart broken now

and who ever read this wouldn't want to be like me but this is the part of my life face it even though i suffer so much what satisfied me is my sweet heart cause the moments between me and her is she brought a new and better life to me and i love her so much ... but everything is going bad in situations now ..... i just want her to be her old self her usual self .....